my goal is perfection / I am the sum of what you think of me / my past equals my future / my destiny is controlled by the supernatural / what I feel is what is real / my goal is perfection
An album
Old friend! My dear old friend! You’ve made an album, you’ve put it on the internet. Soon you will be king of the youtubes.
Keeps the wolves at bay
[ Running keeps the wolves at bay ][ it’s the only thing ][ that brings calm ][ and quiets your raging heart ]
Somnambulance
Sleeping patterns disrupted: fuzzy agent of change haunting coffee shops, a specter of somnambulance.
Sometimes coffee makes me feel murderous
I didn’t get enough sleep and now everyone is shimmering with clean smells and the endless possibilities of incidental touching.
That moment
That moment.That moment at lunch when you realize that she is a we and that she’ll never be yours. That moment.
Four broken ribs
Get on the bus, tell the driver a story about getting jumped and robbed so she lets you on the bus for free. Moan a lot, your arm pulsing in the sling. “Four broken ribs and I already got degenerative disc disease, so that ain’t helping,” you tell the guy sitting across from you when he asks. Stand up, move to a single seat in the back.
Something about desire, or ice skating, or something
He was: regularly torn apart by desire. He was: shredded and spending too much time feeling awful inside. He didn’t: have the strength for this. No, wait, cancel the full stop, leaving it laying where you dropped it — he does have the strength for this, like the toughest 15-year-old in the world, like the ice on Lake Ontario freezing out to the point. Skate for the horizon.
Message to the spaceman
1. J Spaceman, can you feel the exhilaration and the rapture of creation? 2. All I feel is the wall of noise rushing over me. 3. I like it.
The Diving Board
That kid, that fucking kid on the diving board. What are you doing to me? This is unbelievable. You’re talking about things I’ve only dreamt about. The feel of the concrete, the light on the water and then, and then it’s like — BOOM — and I’m not even sure what happened but I’m completely blown away.